Cracking up

man person people emotions

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This part of my story is incredibly difficult to write. No one EVER expects to shout out proudly, ‘Hey, I’ve been admitted into a psychiatric hospital’. No one ever wants to feel like they’re crazy, weird, losing grip on reality and could be filmed for a scene in One Flew over The Cuckoo’s Nest. But it happened. It happens to MANY people. It even happens to those of us that think we’re sane.

If you’d have asked me when I was 24 and going through exactly this, if I was glad it happened or if I’d be shouting it from the rooftops, I would have crawled into the nearest camel’s butt crevice and never come out to face the world. But I am, and I do.

Mental illness has affected my life profoundly. It stopped my life completely, it showed me how much courage I had, how much pain I could take and how many incredible ‘crazy’ people there are in this world. But most of all, it taught me to embrace the weird, wild and unique part of the brain that so often gets left behind in those tiny primary school desks and chairs (that you now wish you could fit one leg in, let alone your entire ass), it taught me about impermanence, acceptance and vulnerability.

Without this short period of my life, I would not have experienced half of the things I have. I’m proud of who I am. I’m proud of every aspect of my life. But most of all, I’m proud of those that are much worse off than me and face incredibly frightening experiences like these on a daily basis. It is these people who inspire me to be honest, truthful and brutal about my experiences. I wish with every fibre of my being that somehow, we could take away your suffering.

I am often asked why I smile all of the time. I smile because I made it, I smile because I’ve been to the pits of hell in my mind, I smile because life is amazing, I smile because I have incredible people in my life who helped me understand and care for myself, but most of all, I smile because I AM ALIVE.

Throughout my blog, I’d really like to talk a lot about mental health, creating awareness and talking together about how we can help each other as a species rather than judge and mock those that are suffering.

And this is how it began ……

11 Comments on “Cracking up

  1. I think people who have been through a problem should share their experiences with others as you never know who you may help along the way. It takes courage but do it!

  2. Reblogged this on My Movie(s) 2016: "Imagine, Dream, Believe" and commented:

    Thanks for the follow, as the reason I write is to share.
    * (Though my family and close friends say it would be far more entertaining with a video-camera # in “real life”, rather than in cyberspace!)

    # By the way, do they still make them in today’s ever-faster changing world..or is it all done with mobile phones?

    (get with the times now,”luddite”* c – it should be a smart phone)

    * or so I was often called by my “my techno-geek” friend, Bill (“the gonk”)

    “total non-techno” c (who doesn’t possess a mobile phone, after a rather eventful’ experience some years back, whilst trying to walk, talk and chew gum at the same time)

    Who says men can’t multi-task!

    Kind regards

    “still waking up” craig
    WAKEY wakey!
    “Who wants to be ‘normal’ anyway!”

    “You will do foolish things…but do them with enthusiasm.”
    – Colette


    Best wishes from the First City to see the sun (in summer) …and we’re also the first to see the sunset and the stars (in winter-time)

    “I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”

  3. You are a strong person and I am enjoying your writing so thank you for not holding back. I hold back. Maybe after seeing your bravery I can step out of my comfort zone a little more.

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